Kaosball Review

Blood Bowl, Dreadball, Battleball, Guild Ball, Slaughterball, and yes, Kaosball. Fantasy and Sci-Fi sports games litter the field with Kickstarter aiding in a groundswell of fresh releases taking on a tired theme. How do you cripple your opposition and stand upon their broken bodies like twisted pedestals to heighten your flexing visage? You grab Eric Lang, pair him with CoolMiniOrNot and you drive your peer’s face into the ground like a divot on the path to victory.

Kaosball is a game you might overlook because its garish, over-the-top artwork could push you away and its “nerd football” theme is derivative and overdone. But when you sit down and play the damn thing angelic choirs will erupt in your presence and you might wet yourself like an over-excited puppy. This is a serious game that should be here to stay, launching with 18 distinct teams and a full buffet of options that could keep you busy for the rest of your miserable, Kaosball-altered life.

While this design is prominently a fantasy sport title its demeanor may be somewhat misleading. Unlike most of its predecessors this is not a game focused on break out plays or clever maneuvers to push past your opposition in a highlight reel manner. This is an area control game of fighting tooth and nail over war torn ground as you push your team forward and try to lock down areas of the field. Scoring is aided by controlling the ball in a rugby-like fashion, but killing your opponent will do just as well with several teams faring better by ignoring the 12 sided pigskin surrogate. If you do take the more finesse-oriented approach of attempting to score with the ball you will need to carry it forward to one of the scoring mounds which lie in dangerously contested territory.

Each team consists of several unique stats including health as well as bonuses towards Handling, Tackling, and Attacking. The former allows you to strip the ball from an opponent while the latter two focus on taking down or removing an enemy from the game. Each side utilizes two figure types which require unique maneuvering and strategy – Runners which focus on ball carrying and Bruisers which are geared towards slaughterhouse fun. Each turn you are only allowed to activate a single miniature and the give and take of focusing on one aspect of the game or one area of the field can provide for some tough and meaty decisions on the fly. You have to adapt and maintain your composure as the poor slob across the table tries to have his way with you. It’s like chess with a beer in one hand and a switchblade in the other.

The card play and hand management is the central mechanism fueling the plethora of decision points. Each player has a hand of seven cards which are made up of Tactics, Cheat and Energy cards. When players enter a contest and are squaring off they each play an Energy card face down, revealing simultaneously and adding the number to their native stat. This is visceral, direct and precisely textured when you include the rule that you can only play a card with a value that you have not yet played this period. This provides for astoundingly tough decisions as you have to perform triage of sorts, picking and choosing carefully when you play your strong cards. This aspect of the game is immensely strong and affords a very strong weight to the cunning mental outmaneuvering element of the design.

Tactics cards replace your action of activating a single figure and typically offer greater benefits such as placing fire tokens or 3D walls on the pitch. Cheat cards offer even greater benefits that bend the rules but can result in very harsh point penalties if the refs aren’t bribed off. This element of managing your cash to perform bribes is a downstream effect of the opening game bid where special team upgrade powers as well as star ringers are auctioned off. The team upgrades are small effects that can augment your side’s strengths and provide a bit of punch. Ringers are unique characters with their own assorted abilities that break the game in interesting ways and they also have the enormous benefit of functioning as both Runners and Bruisers.

So you have four unique teams in the base game that are each distinct, eight superstar ringers, a mess of team upgrades, and crazy Tactic cards that let you shape the board in interesting ways. All of these outlandish elements combine for a huge amount of variability and chaotic frenzy. I often call this the Wiz-War of fantasy sports because like that fantastic Tom Jolly title this game is all about over the top manipulation of the environment and breaking expectations. You never know what’s around the corner or what’s going to occur. You’ll wear out the edge of your seat and you’ll need to change shirts at half-time as your tee is soaked in sweat and gamer BO.

This is the perfect sports game except for a couple of minor niggles. The length is roughly one hour for an experienced two player game but the three and four player mode will typically last closer to two hours. That’s just a bit too much of a stretch for this type of game and I find myself tiring by the third period which is a damn shame considering how well it works with a full group, especially with the two on two team play. Additionally, the game can frequently result in blowouts where one side will just run away with victory triggering the mercy rule. That seems to be an unavoidable end result of the vast array of moving parts which tend to snowball at times as gaining control of the field can lead to further beat downs and unchecked aggression. Tight matches do occur frequently enough but that runaway leader hits a bit too often for my taste. Neither of these flaws are enough to tarnish the design, but they’re further proof that the elusive perfect game is immeasurably hard to produce.

Kaosball is a game of brutal and chaotic intensity. It’s a massive rugby scrum full of goblins kicking you in the sack while a daemon sets your head on fire. Unrestrained yet completely refined this is one of the most evocative and outright joyful American-style designs of the last several years. It has unbelievable components and it’s constantly threatening to leap from your shelf and smash through the table. Grab this game and thank me later when you can’t wipe the twisted smile from your bruised face.